where burly individuals chase an egg-shaped ball while trying not to hug each other too tightly or lose their shorts in the process.

where drivers zoom around in circles, burning rubber and fuel, all while fans watch with bated breath, hoping for a crash to spice up the spectacle.

the sport where players leap through the air like flying squirrels, all while trying not to swallow more sand than points.

where athletes run tirelessly on a field, occasionally pausing to fake injuries or argue with the referee like they’re auditioning for a dramatic soap opera.

the sport where people willingly pay to endure hours of suffering, all for the privilege of wearing a shiny medal and bragging rights about their blistered toes.

the Sport for People Who Can’t Decide Between Drowning, Crashing, or Crawling.

is what happens when someone took basketball, removed the dribbling and added more rules than Monopoly.